In honour of Social Work Week I was asked to share some insights that might be helpful for our patients or readers. Personally, I love to read about what the “expert” in that specific profession does in their personal life. For example, how often, when and what does the dietician eat? What exercises and exercise schedule does the fitness expert use to get/ maintain their fitness? What face cream does the dermatologist use to protect, and maintain their beautiful skin, etc. Therefore, I thought it might be interesting to some people to read about, how does a therapist cope during a pandemic?

Interestingly enough, I find that people tend to think that therapists are just “a different breed” in that we are immune to stress. Of course, this is not the case. That’s like assuming a doctor never gets sick. They do. And consequently, therapists have stressful life events like everyone else. But hopefully we employ the strategies we teach to others.

Here are 10 strategies that I’ve employed over the past year in particular dealing with covid-19:

1. I make sure to get outside. I know the research on the importance of connecting with nature and being in a natural environment and how that affects our energy levels. I pay attention to how I feel, which I refer to as “checking in”, and I am aware that being in the outdoors makes me feel more calm, peaceful, happy and energized.

2. I exercise daily. This is a commitment that I’ve made to myself to move my body every day. I don’t put restrictions on what type of exercise or movement it should be. Sometimes I will walk/ run, sometimes lift weights, or do yoga, or TRX, and sometimes I will dance to music. When the weather is nice, I do yoga outside in my backyard, and ride my bicycle. I enjoy doing these physical activities with family too. The form of exercise is not important to me. What is important is that I’ve kept my commitment to move my body daily. I keep it fun, and interesting. I do not focus on the length of time to exercise; I plan on a minimum of 10 minutes, but then sometimes do more. I don’t complicate it, or overthink it. I do free online “Yoga with Adriene”, I have a free workout app, I have a TRX rope and treadmill, a few free weights, and a pair of sneakers. Keep it simple!

3. I “check in” with myself. This may be in the form of morning meditation, but often it is simply me noticing a strong feeling and stopping to self-assess, “Why am I feeling this way?”, and then “what is it that I need right now?” This is SUPER helpful. Then I give myself what I need. It’s never anything complicated. I might need a break, a cup of my favourite tea, a hug, an acknowledgement, a change of scenery, etc. A change of scenery might involve moving my computer from my homemade office to my living room area for a couple of hours. A hug might involve me asking one of my children if I can have a hug. Or it might mean me putting my hands on my heart and telling myself I am okay just as I am. Needing to vent might include me sending a quick text to my mom or sister telling them of my frustration, and them acknowledging that via a quick message back. A break might mean stepping outside and walking to the mailbox and back to check for mail. It may also involve planning for something nice for later in the day, like a walk on the trails after work. It is helpful to have little things to look forward to.

4. I do a self-reflection, and compare my life to a period of time when things were going well. What was different then, compared to now? Can I re-implement some/ any of the strategies/ practices that were working well at that time? Do I need to alter that process to make it work for me today?

Like many people, I noticed my energy was lower around the mid-phase of covid. This was due to many factors, such as lots of Zoom calls, constantly adapting to changes at work, and even things like not having a separate workspace set up at home initially. Another big change was having additional responsibilities, such as having my children home from school, and over-seeing their work as well as my own.

I compared my pre-covid life and daily habits (when my energy level was higher) to my life, and daily habits during covid to better figure out what I was doing differently. I was doing different daily habits: Pre- covid, I would take breaks on my lunch hour from work, which might involve briefly connecting with the other therapists/ staff at work. I sometimes went for a short walk/ run with a colleague. Research shows that even brief “water-cooler moments” at work (meaning when staff have a brief verbal exchange at the water-cooler) provides an increase of satisfaction in the workplace. During covid, instead of these moments of connection with colleagues, I was now making lunches for my children, and checking on their school progress. Although I very much enjoy being a parent, spending my lunch hours this way was an adjustment.

I noticed that I had changed my morning routine. I was getting up later in the morning as I did not have to get my children out the door to school, so we had less tasks to do in the morning. I had started exercising and meditating later in the day, or evening. I had also stopped doing my daily training and readings on mental health. Does it really matter if I do it first thing in the morning versus later on in the day? Turns out for me, it did. A lot. I reinstituted my morning routine which I had been doing daily prior to covid. This includes rising early, daily meditation, jotting down three things I am grateful for, doing some Mental Health trainings/ readings/ podcasts, and exercise. This is the time that I set aside for myself, prior to taking care of my children, my patients and clients, and responding to everyone else’s needs. It helps me feel very grounded, purposeful, calm, motivated, and energized. This start to my day, sets my day up in a positive direction.

5. I flip it around. Yes, that’s the professional term for that =).

I reflected upon how to re-frame the challenges I was experiencing as benefits. I started asking myself, instead of looking at how covid has negatively impacted my life, perhaps I can look at what are some of the advantages to the way I live right now. Now, I realize for some people that this may stir up many feelings. And truthfully, initially I found this exercise difficult, but I was aware that staying stuck in negativity was not serving me, nor anyone else I was coming into contact with.

I know that many of us have had some similarities and some differences in our experience of covid. Some of us have lost people we love due to covid or complications related to that. I will share here that sadly my aunt passed away sooner than she would have, in part due to isolation in the nursing home as a result of the restrictions of covid. Whilst I am thankful that my aunt is no longer suffering, I am sad that she passed on, especially in a time when due to covid restrictions, we could not visit her, or support her as we typically would have. Also, after her passing, we could not collectively mourn her comforting each other by being in each other’s company. The restrictions of covid altered the grieving process and that was very difficult. In regards to this, I was thankful for technology that allowed for my mom to see her sister virtually and tell her, once again, she loved her before she passed.

So, I begrudgingly wrote out one or two things on a sheet of paper acknowledging a couple of things that were better in my life currently due to the changes brought on by covid. But as I began to write and ponder how my life had been temporarily altered, I realized that my list was getting quite long. The things to be thankful for evolved from the superficial things like having to spend less on gas, to more meaningful things. One such realization was the mental shift from annoyance over the interruption in my workflow to stop and make lunches for my children, to considering this as a temporary gift to connect with my children in this way. I thought back prior to covid. When did I have the opportunity to have lunch with my child on a weekday? Once a year on their birthday. Why? Because I made it a priority and it was a big event. I would schedule a vacation day off of work for the purpose of picking them up at school and taking them out for their birthday lunch. Now, due to covid it wasn’t a lunch out at a restaurant. But I intentionally made yummy hot lunches based upon their requests, where we would sit and eat together and share about the morning thus far; that was the truly special part about the lunch, the connection that occurred.

6. I recognize that this experience (and all experiences are temporary).

As humans we are hard-wired to work towards goals. We thrive on having time lines, with a clear beginning and ending. Many of us got “stuck” on the fact that we didn’t know when covid was going to end; this reduces people’s motivation and creates a sense of being in limbo. Instead, I intentionally focused on the fact that covid-19 is temporary. This was very helpful. I started to use the technique of visualizing myself in the future. I pictured covid being over. I imagined myself looking back at the experience of covid, and that time in my life, and reflected upon that.

I asked myself questions, such as, “What am I going to say when I look back at this time in my life?” Am I going to say, “Oh, I wish I had appreciated having my children home more, and enjoyed having lunches with them, because now they are back at school, and then out spending time with friends and doing extracurricular activities, and we don’t get to eat lunch together anymore, or spend time together like we did then”?

When I examined covid from this perspective, I recognized that I had spent more time with certain people that I care about, and otherwise I would not have had the opportunity to do that. For example, my parents travel a fair amount, and I wouldn’t have seen them as regularly if they were doing their usual travelling. Instead, they had more visits with my children and I, because they were home more.

7. I skip the judgment and swap it for compassion. This starts with myself, and then flows freely to others. I keep in mind that I am not going to do this or anything perfectly. I do not aim for perfection, but instead focus on effort. I aim to put forth the effort on a regular basis. I don’t expect 100% consistency, as I know that is not possible for anyone. I recognize that as a competent therapist, I need downtime, I need breaks, I set healthy boundaries and I need to practice my self-care strategies that I know work for me.

8. I pay attention to the tight rope: When the need and demands increase, that means my self-care needs to increase in order to maintain the balance. During covid the needs of people around me increased everywhere. From my children lacking their usual friend supports, and enjoyable activities and now requiring more support and attention from me, to patient’s levels of stress being much higher, to staff needing something to look forward to, to daily interactions with the neighbours, or even people being more irritable in the grocery store line up. I imagined that everyone I met was doing the very best they could. This increased my sense of compassion, and reduced reactivity. I also applied that sense of compassion to myself, using self-talk, and increasing self-care strategies. As well as focusing on maintaining a healthy balance I was intentional in sharing wellness/ coping resources and articles with the staff at Thamesview as a way to encourage them to practice good self-care also. Maintain the balance. Skip the super-hero cape!

9. I get practical: Read. Research. Learn. Adapt. I read about “Zoom fatigue”, and simple strategies to prevent that, and I implemented them. I made other minor changes, such as buying a better headset since I was on the phone for hours daily and generally working to make the environment more suitable to my current needs. I set up a proper home office, versus having a temporary makeshift space cramped into the corner of the guest room, using the bed as a desk, and a tote box as storage. This helped to increase my productivity, and also created a sense of normalcy in regards to work. It also helped establish a boundary between work and home as I can shut the door and leave the space at the end of the day.

10. My mind rested upon the thought: Be solid at your core, so you can withstand the ebb and flow of life regardless of what comes. My mind rested upon this thought often; we cannot be influenced so greatly by the world around us. We must be solid at our core in order to withstand the uncertainty of the world around us. There will always be uncertainty it may have been a pandemic this year but next year it will be something else. We all know there have been periods of times in our lives where there has been more uncertainty, or more stress, and periods of time where things have been a lot smoother.

If I can leave you with one thought it would be this, I have used many of these strategies off and on over the past 20 years. It is important that we learn these strategies not just when a pandemic hits. We want to daily practice coping strategies so that when things are extra stressful, we have the skills to mitigate that stress. Often people wait until there is something drastic that occurs, and at that point they start learning and practicing self-care. All of us will benefit from regular self-care, and effective coping strategies throughout our lives. Interestingly, research shows that as we age, we become more impacted by stress and therefore need to practice these skills at every age.

I hope to see coping skills taught in the school system one day, along with the other subjects. It is something that we are going to need our entire lives, and it is something that is going to significantly contribute to your overall happiness and wellness over the course of your life. That said, there is no time like the present to learn and practice daily wellness strategies. I promise you that your life will be better if you do.